‘It was a calling’: Why this mum quit her high-flying tech job to become a doula
- Bertie Hynes
- Mar 21
- 3 min read
We spoke to Roberta Hynes about her dramatic career change of quitting her IT job of many years to become a professional doula.
The proud owner of Irish-based support service Doula Help, Roberta opened up about how her own pregnancy losses and breastfeeding struggles led to her decision to dramatically change career paths.
Roberta and her husband share two children and suffered one loss before the birth of their first child and four losses in between the birth of their daughter, eight and son, five.
‘The losses along with the two traumatic births and my Postpartum anxiety resulted in our decision to not try for further children, even though when we first started our family planning journey we had hoped for a larger family.’
Roberta emphasised: ‘I offer doula support services to try to help others not go through the overwhelm and struggles our family endured, and to try to normalise conversation around miscarriages, losses, fertility challenges, Postpartum mood disorders and traumatic experiences.’
After Roberta’s son was born, the mum spoke about her struggle to breastfeed him after her ‘double loss’ of a miscarriage which led to her milk supply drying up.
Breastfeeding her daughter until she was 18 months old, Roberta said: ‘I then had a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and my milk dried up during that pregnancy for me’.
Describing how she began going to breastfeeding groups and lactation consultants in an attempt to find somebody who could help her breastfeed once again, this is where she stumbled on the idea of becoming a doula.
‘I met a lady who mentioned in the group that her friends had grouped together and paid for a post-partum doula to come into her home and help with meals, who went to the pharmacy to pick up her paracetamol and gave the baby a bath because she couldn’t bend over comfortably’.
‘It sounded wonderful and to me – it was a calling, it was this moment of clarity. I did these things instinctively when I’m with a new mum – of course I’m going put away the dishwasher or notice if the recycling bin is tipping over. Of course I’m going to hold the baby’.
‘So I trained and I’ve been working in this area now for four years.’
Sharing an insight into how her own lived experience has contributed to her practice as a professional doula, she said:
‘I’ve had five losses. So I am able to deal with families that have suffered losses – I have better understanding of what they’ve been through, someone who hasn’t suffered losses may not have the same language.’
She added: ‘You find that many people became birth doulas because they’ve either had an incredible magical baby birth themselves that they just fall in love with it or a somewhat challenging, traumatic negative association with birth and they get into being a birth doula to help others avoid the same.’
Speaking on normalising the conversation surrounding pregnancy loss, Roberta says:
‘Pregnancy loss is something that really isn’t spoken about enough. I think it should be more normalised as one in four pregnancies end in a loss.
Explaining why she told family and friends as soon as she found out she was pregnant rather than waiting the typical 12 weeks, she added:
‘I knew if there were to be another loss I would have their understanding, empathy and compassion and they would know why I was feeling a little bit anti-social or down and they would be able to support me’.
After working in IT for many years, Roberta emphasised how much happier she is now as a result of switching careers and becoming a doula:
‘I’m a more fun mum. I have more fun with my partner. I have more time and more resilience now. Even if I’ve had a long, long day, it’s still rewarding – so everyone around me is feeding off of my happiness’.
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